十萬個冷笑話英文一：
On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman.
一天晚上回家的路上，我看到一家花店外面有一些剛剪下來的玫瑰。我挑了一打，走進店裡，一個年輕的女售貨員跟我打了個招呼。
"Are these for your wife, sir?" she asked.
“先生，這些是送給你妻子的嗎?”她問道。
"Yes," I said.
“是的，”我說。
"For her birthday?" she asked.
“她的生日?”她問。
"No," I replied.
“不是，”我回答。
"For your anniversary?"
“你們的結婚紀念日?”
"No," I said again.
“不是，”我又答道。
As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, "I hope she forgives you."
當我將找回的錢裝進口袋，朝門口走去時，那年輕的女人衝我喊道：“希望她能原諒你。”
Notes:
spot 認出，發現
fresh-cut 鮮切花
florist 種花人
saleswoman女售貨員
十萬個冷笑話英文二：
One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
一天晚上我開著丈夫的`車去購物，
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."
回來後發現車身沾滿灰塵，於是擦洗了一陣。當我終於走進屋裡時大聲喊：“世界上最愛你的女人剛擦洗了你的車燈和擋風玻璃。”
My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"
我丈夫抬頭看了看，說：“媽媽來了?”
Notes:shopping mall 大型購物中心
headlight 前燈
windshield 擋風玻璃
十萬個冷笑話英文三：
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.
一天晚上，一家旅館失火，住在這家旅館裡的人穿著睡 衣就跑了出來。
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.
兩個人站在外面，看著大火。
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could one will be poorer because I took them.”
“在我出來之前，”其中一個說：“我跑進一些房間，找到了一大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。如果有人把紙幣留在火裡，火就會把它燒成灰燼。所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了。沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。”
“You don't know my work，” said the other.
“你不知道我是幹什麼的。”另一個說。
“What is your work?”
“你是幹什麼的?”
“I'm a policeman.
“我是警察。”
“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work?”“No，”said the policeman.
“噢!”第一個人喊了一聲。他靈機一動，說：“那你知道我是幹什麼的?”“不知道。”警察說。
“I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”
“我是個作家。我總是愛編一些從未發生過的故事。”