愛笑的人，運氣總不會太差，那麼你喜歡笑麼?這裡小編收集整理了好些搞笑的xxx笑話，一起來看看吧!說不定能點中你的笑血哦!
國小生英語笑話故事【1】
"Madam," said the irate conductor to a totally incompetent woman cellist during rehearsal, "you have between your legs an instrument that could give pleasure to thousands…and all you seem able to do is scratch it."
Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side. He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his pale lips moved. "Jake," she said.
"Hush," he quickly interrupted, "don't talk."
But she insisted. "Jake," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I must confess."
"There is nothing to confess," said the weeping Jake.
"It's all right. Everything's all right."
"No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake, that I have been unfaithful to you."
Jake stroked her hand. "Now, Becky, don't be concerned. I know all about it," he sobbed. "Why else would I poison you?"
一個妻子的臨終懺悔
臨終的Becky躺在床上，他的丈夫Jake守在她的旁邊，握著她冰涼的手，淚流滿面。
她蒼白的嘴脣翕動著，“Jake,”她說。
“安靜，”他快速地打斷她,“別說話。”
但是她堅持，“Jake,”她用疲憊的聲音說，“我不能不說話。我必須懺悔。”
“沒有什麼可懺悔的。”痛苦的`Jake說。
“沒關係。一切都很好。”
不，不。我必須在平靜中死去。我必須懺悔，Jack,那就是我一直對你不忠。”
Jack撫摸著她的手說。“現在，Becky,別擔心。我已經知道一切了。”他嗚咽著，“要不我幹嘛毒死你。”
國小生英語笑話故事【2】
A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"
母親見三歲的兒子將一枚五分鎳幣放進嘴裡吞了下去，她立刻將他抱起，頭朝下不停地拍打他的後背，他咳出了兩枚一角的硬幣，她發狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父親喊道： “你兒子剛才吞下了一枚五分鎳幣，可咳出兩枚一角的硬幣!我該怎麼辦呢?”孩子他爸大聲回答道：“再喂他幾枚鎳幣!”
國小生英語笑話故事【3】
A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry, honked his horn .
"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by. "What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.
"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.
一位農夫和他的兒子乘坐輕便馬車來到一段窄路，他們遇到一個開車的人向相反的方向去。兩個方向的兩英里以內都沒有地方可以使他們相擦而過。駕車人甚是著急，按響了喇叭。 “如果你不後退，”農夫說著擼起了袖子，“我可不喜歡我將不得不做的事。”司機吃驚不小，掛上倒擋，向後退了兩英里，讓輕便馬車先過去。
“剛才在那兒你說過的你不喜歡要做的事是什麼?”農夫的兒子問道。
“退後兩英里，”農夫回答道。