《卑鄙的我》是由環球電影公司和Illumination Entertainment娛樂公司新出品的3D動畫電影。電影講述的是大壞蛋格魯異想天開的計劃將把月亮偷走的故事。其情節設定為世界第一大壞蛋的迴歸。期間影片滑稽有趣的動作，加上著名笑星史蒂夫·卡瑞爾的傾情獻聲，使《卑鄙的我》成為備受期待之作。
《卑鄙的我》經典臺詞
1. 抱歉，先生，請問有廁所嗎?
Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?
賈斯汀!
Justin!
快，寶貝，照張相，我手託金字塔
Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.
賈斯汀，你馬上給我回來!
Justin, you get back here right now!
不，快停下!
No, stop!
-不，不!攔住他 !- 快回來!別爬了!
-No, no! Stop him!-Go back! Don't climb!
等等，等等。
Wait, wait.
等一下，別激動，小朋友
Hold on. Easy, little boy.
夠了，快停下，小子!停在那。不!
Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!
不!不!不! 掉下去了
No, no, no! There he goes.
賈斯汀!
Justin!
我接了! 我接了!
I've got him! I've got him!
2. 今晚從埃及傳來讓人氣憤的訊息
Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered
吉薩金字塔已經被人偷走
that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen
取而代之的是個巨大的充氣山寨版
and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.
恐慌立刻傳遍全球，各地政府和民眾
There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens
都在盡力保護他們珍愛的地標建築
try to protect their beloved landmarks.
執法部門還是沒有任何線索
Law enforcement still has no leads
每個人都在好奇，到底是哪個神偷大盜
leaving everyone to wonder,which of the world's villains
會對這起十惡不赦的盜竊案負責?
is responsible for this heinous crime?
他的下一目標又是哪裡?
And where will he strike next?
3. 今天，今天很糟糕
I'm having a bad, bad day
是時候讓我為所欲為
It's about time that I get my way
把眼前的一切都粉碎
Steamrolling whatever I see
冰凍射線!冰凍射線!冰凍射線!
Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray!
今天我沒有開心很多
I'm having a bad, bad day
你要太在意，我也無話可說
If you take it personal, that's okay
看看吧，看這多麼快活
Watch, this is so fun to see
卑鄙的我
Despicable me
早上好 格魯!
Morning, Gru!
你好嗎
How you doing?
你好 弗雷德
Hello, Fred.
對了 你的狗狗在我滿院子里拉地雷
FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard,
我可不歡迎它哦
and I don't appreciate it.
真抱歉。你知道狗嘛。想去哪就去哪
Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they want to go.
它們死了就不會了
Unless they're dead.
我開玩笑呢!
I'm joking!
不過，也是事實。好了，好好養吧
Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
好吧 ，好的
Okay. Yeah.
把眼前的一切都粉碎
Steamrolling whatever I see
卑鄙的我
Despicable me
我今天沒有開心很多
I'm having a bad, bad day
你要太在意，我也無話可說
If you take it personal, that's okay
卑鄙的我
Despicable me
這不是在跟我開玩笑嘛!
You've got to be pulling on my leg!
你好嗎
Hello!
賣餅乾
Cookies for sale.
走開，我不在家
Go away. I'm not home.
沒有，你在家，我聽見你說話了
Yes, you are. I heard you.
不，你沒聽見。這
No, you didn't. This
是錄音
is a recording.
-不，不是的。-是的，這是
-No, it isn't. - Yes, it is.
聽著，請留言，嗶
Watch this. Leave a message, beep.
拜拜，錄音
Goodbye, recorded message.
阿格蕾絲，快點啦
Agnes, come on.
凱爾!
Kyle!
你個破狗!不行!，不，不。坐，是我的鬆餅
Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin.
格魯!
Gru!
奈法里奧博士
Dr Nefario.
我瞭解你此刻心裡的感受
I know how you must be feeling.
我，也經歷了同樣的沮喪
I, too, have encountered great disappointment,
但在我眼裡,你一直都是最棒的
but in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats.
什麼? 發生什麼事了?
What? What happened?
新聞都滿天飛了!
It's all over the news!
有人偷了金字塔
Some fella just stole a pyramid.
據說他讓別的神偷都
They're saying he makes all other villains look
相形見絀
lame.
全體集合!
Assemble the minions!
小子們，集合了
Minions, assemble!
好的，好的
Okay. Okay
嘿!
Hey!
看起來不錯嘛，凱文!大家怎麼樣?很好吧?
Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good?
那就好
All right.
我的比利小子在那兒!怎麼樣，拉里?
That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry?
你們好，各位!
Hello, everybody!
好啦，很好!
Yeah, all right!
安靜一下，安靜!
Simmer down. Simmer down!
謝謝大家，好的
Thank you, okay.
我知道你們可能已經聽說了
Now, I realize that you guys probably heard
有個大盜偷走了金字塔
about this other villain who stole the pyramids.
顯然，這是一樁大案
Apparently, it's a big deal.
人們稱之為世紀奇案什麼的
People are calling it the crime of the century and stuff like that.
但我煩了嗎?不，我沒有!
!But am I upset? No, I am not!
有一點點
A little,
但是我們這一年也收穫頗豐
but we have had a pretty good year ourselves,
在我看來你們表現的也都不錯
and you guys are all right in my book.
得了，沒有加薪!
No, no raises!
你不會有加薪的
You're not going to get any raises.
我們做什麼了?
What did we do?
看看， 我們偷了時代廣場的大熒幕
Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron!
不錯!
Nice!
這就是我的範兒
That's how I roll.
是吧，你們都喜歡用這個看足球，哈?
Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh?
但不止這個
But that's not all.
我們偷了自由女神像
We stole the Statue of Liberty,
拉斯維加斯那個小號的
the small one from Las Vegas.
至於埃菲爾鐵塔更是無足掛齒! 也是維加斯的小版
And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas.
好了，我沒打算跟你們講這個的
Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about this yet,
但我一直專注於一件大事!
but I have been working on something very big!
偷金字塔神馬的，跟這件事比起來都是浮雲!
Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water!
謝謝我的好朋友，奈法里奧博士的不懈努力
And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr Nefario...
謝謝你!
Thank you!
他在那裡
There he is.
他負責設計
He's styling.
聽著，我們已經在一所祕密實驗室裡
Now, we have located a shrink ray
找到了一架光學微縮器，一旦搞到手
in a secret lab,and once we take this shrink ray,
我們就有完全的能力
we will have the capability
去完成真正的世紀奇案
to pull off the true crime of the century.
我們要去偷..
We are going to steal...
等等，等等!我還沒跟你們說是什麼呢
Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet.
嘿
Hey.
戴夫 ，聽清楚，拜託
Dave, listen up, please.
接下來，我們要偷的是
Next, we are going to steal,
為了效果，暫停一下
pause for effect,
月亮!
the moon!
等月亮落入我的囊中
And once the moon is mine,
世人就會為了重的月亮 滿足我的一切要求
the world will give me whatever I want to get it back!
我會成為史上最偉大的神偷!
And I will be the greatest villain of all time!
那就是我要說的
That's what I'm talking about
怎麼了?
Yes?
喂，格魯? 我這裡算了算
Hello, Gru? I've been crunching some numbers,
好像我們的錢真的不夠的
and I really don't see how we can afford this.
這事兒成不了的。我沒有辦法創造奇蹟
It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker.
嘿，放鬆點
Hey, chillax.
我再找銀行貸款就行。他們喜歡我!
I'll just get another loan from the bank. They love me!
伊迪斯 別這樣!
Edith, stop it!
怎麼了?我不過在走路而已
What? I'm just walking.
(哈蒂小姐女童院)
Miss Hattie's Home for Girls
-嗨， 海蒂小姐 。我們回來了
-Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back.
你們好 姑娘們
Hello, girls!
我們出去的時候有人來申請收養嗎
Anybody come to adopt us while we were out?
讓我想想
Let me think.
沒有!
No!
伊迪斯 ，你在我桌上放的是什麼?
Edith! What did you put on my desk?
稀泥餡餅
A mud pie.
沒人會來收養你的，伊迪斯， 你知道這點，不是嗎?
You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. You know that, don't you?
-是啊， 我知道 - 很好
-Yeah, I know. -Good.
那你們生意如何，姑娘們?達到標準了嗎?
So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas?
算是吧
Sort of.
我們賣了43塊小薄荷糖，30塊可可曲奇，18塊椰子餅乾
We sold 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies, and 18 coco-nutties.
好吧
Okay.
嗯，你說得像是今天做了幾筆大生意
Well, you say that like it's a great sale day.
看看我的臉
Look at my face!
你還覺得今天這幾筆生意就足夠了嗎?
Do you still think it's a great sale day?
18塊椰子餅乾
Eighteen coco-nutties.
我覺得我們還能賣的再多一點點，是嗎?
I think we can do a little better than that, don't you?
是的
Yeah
我們不想在羞羞盒裡過週末，是嗎?當然不想
We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No.
-不想 哈蒂小姐
-No, Miss Hattie.
好的，很好，你們走吧 幫我搞搞衛生
Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine.
-嗨， 佩妮
-Hi, Penny. -
-嗨， 你們好
-Hi, guys.
喂， 媽，真抱歉，我本來要給你打電話的。可是...
Hello, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call, but...
我只是想恭喜你偷了金字塔
I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid.
是你乾的，不是嗎?
That was you, wasn't it?
還是哪個真正成功的江洋大盜乾的?
Or was it a villain who's actually successful?
我就要你知道，老媽，我要去做一件
Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something
非常，非常偉大，非常重要的事
that's very, very big, very important.
等你聽說了，你會非常驕傲的
When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud.
那祝你好運。好了，我掛了
Good luck with that. Okay, I'm out of here.
(銀行)
BANK
(萬惡銀行)
BANK OF EVIL
格魯求見珀金斯先生
Gru to see Mr. Perkins.
好的，請您先坐一下
Yes, please have a seat.
我邁出的一小步
That's one small step for man,
將是人類的一大步
one giant leap for mankind.
媽，總有一天我會登上月球的
Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon.
恐怕你已經太晚了， 兒子
I'm afraid you're too late, Son.
美國宇航局已經不送猴子上太空了
NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more.
嘿
Hey
我要申請一項新的大盜貸款。借款人威克託
I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector.
這名字取義於一個數學術語
It's a mathematical term,
由箭頭代表的數字，箭頭有方向和大小
a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude.
就是向量的意思!就是我
Vector! That's me,
因為我的犯罪既要引領方向又要彰顯不朽
'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude.
哦，耶!
Oh, yeah!
給你看看我的新武器
Check out my new weapon.
水虎魚手槍!哦，沒錯!
Piranha gun! Oh, yes!
發射活的水虎魚。見過嗎?不，你沒見過。我發明的
Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven't. I invented it.
想看看演示嗎?
Do you want a demonstration?
該死!還真難，偶爾啦，把水虎魚給弄回來
Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my...
格魯先生 珀金斯先生請您去見他
Mr. Gru, Mr. Perkins will see you now.
所以，我要的
So, all I need
銀行的錢來建造火箭
is money from the bank to build a rocket.
-然後呢， 月球就是我們的了-哇噢
-And then, the moon is ours.-Wow!
非常棒的演講
Well, very nice presentation.
我想看看光束微縮器
I'd like to see this shrink ray.
當然!沒問題! 到手就拿給你看
Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it.
你還沒有?
You don't have it?
膽就那麼大來銀行要錢
And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money?
顯然是的
Apparently.
你明白銀行給你投資了多少嗎，格魯?
Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru?
只有你那極少數的陰險詭謀獲得了收益
With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit.
要我怎麼忍受呢?好比這個蘋果是你
How can I put it? Let's say this apple is you.
如果我們不開始收回我們的資金。。。
If we don't start getting our money back...
想像到了吧?
Get the picture?
聽著，格魯，重點在於，外面有很多的後起之秀
Look, Gru, the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there,
比你更年輕 ，比你飢渴
younger than you, hungrier than you,
比你年輕
younger than you.
就像那個叫威克託的小夥子
Like that young fellow out there named Vector.
他才偷了一個金字塔!
He just stole a pyramid!
我明白了，我明白了
I've got it. I've got it.
所以，至於貸款製造火箭。。。
So, as far as getting money for the rocket...
拿到光束微縮器再說
Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk.
最高機密研究所 東亞
TOP SECRET RESEARCH FACILITY EAST ASIA
蠢貨
Suckers!
蠢貨
Suckers!
我們拿到它了!
We got it!
什麼?
What?
嘿! 嘿!什麼! 嘿!
Hey! Hey! What! Hey!
不!不!不!
No, no, no!
你!
You!
現在，再想冷凍別人的時候可要三思咯!
Now, maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head!
再會，格魯
So long, Gru!
快點!我們不能讓他逃跑!
Quick! We can't let him get away!
向上!向上!
Up ahead! Up ahead!
開火!開火，快!
Fire! Fire, now!
沒打中哦!
You missed me!
到爸爸這裡來!
Come to papa!
吃我一擊
Take that.
太可愛了
How adorable.
看到你了!
Got you in our sights!
就像拿一塊糖。。。
Like taking candy from a...
什麼?
What?
嘿 格魯!
Hey, Gru!
嚐嚐這個!
Try this on for size!
這真奇怪，發生什麼。。。
That's weird. What is going...
這是幽閉恐怖症
This is claustrophobic!
不，不，不!
No, no, no!
太小了!這對我來說太小了!
Too small! This is too small for me!
我恨死那傢伙了!
I hate that guy!
請守護我們，保佑我們睡個好覺
and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep.
保佑我們在睡覺的時候，沒有蟲子爬到我們的耳朵裡
And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears
然後在我們的腦子裡下蛋
and lay eggs in our brains.
太棒了。謝謝你描述這個景象，伊迪斯
Great. Thanks for that image, Edith.
保佑儘快有人領養我們
And please bless that someone will adopt us soon,
而且爸爸媽媽是好人
and that the mommy and daddy will be nice
然後有個寵物獨角獸
and have a pet unicorn.
-阿門
-Amen.
獨角獸 我愛獨角獸，我愛它們
Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them
獨角，獨角，獨角獸 ，我愛你們
Uni, uni, unicorns I love them
獨角，獨角獸，我可以養一個
Uni, unicorns, I could pet one
如果它們真的是真的
If they were really real
而且它們是真的
And they are
於是，我買一個。於是我養者它
So, I bought one so I could pet it
現在它喜歡我，我也喜歡它
Now it loves me Now I love it
威克特的城堡
VECTOR'S FORTRESS
(安全警報)
SECURITY ALERT!!!
你不。。。什麼。。。
Don't you... What the...
祝你們好運，小女孩們!
Good luck, little girls!
(海蒂小姐女童院)
Miss Hattie's Home for Girls
哇噢!酷
Whoa! Cool.
你好! 我們是哈蒂小姐少女收容站的孤兒
Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls.
-我不在乎，滾開!-拜託了!
-I don't care. Beat it! - Come on!
我們在賣餅乾，所以，能有個更好的未來
We're selling cookies so, you know, we can have a better future.
-等下，等下!你有椰果味的嗎?-是的
-Wait, wait!Do you have coco-nutties? -Yeah.
有主意了
Light bulb.
納法尼奧博士
Dr Nefario!
我需要一些小機器人偽裝的餅乾!
I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies!
-什麼? -機器人餅乾!
What? Cookie robots!
-你是誰?-哦，算了吧
Who is this? Oh, forget it.
好吧，看起來你已經通過了我們的背景核對
Well, it appears you have cleared our background check,
格魯醫生
Dr Gru.
我發現你列出了一個
And I see you have made a list
關於你個人成就的.表格
of some of your personal achievements.
謝謝你，我很願意看看
Thank you for that. I love reading.
我發現你被授予了榮譽勳章
And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor
和騎士身份
and a knighthood.
-我，我，我-我，我，我
-Me, me, me. -Me, me, me.
凱文?
Kevin?
你有你自己的廚藝秀節目
You had your own cooking show
而且你可以憋氣30秒?
and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds?
沒什麼了不起
It's not that impressive.
傻瓜!
Idiot!
打! 打! 打! 打!打!打!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
這亂七八糟的都是些...什麼?
What in the name of... What?
好吧，是這麼回事
Well, here's the dealio.
自從我的妻子
Things have been so lonely since my wife,
黛比，去世後 ，一切都是那麼孤單
Debbie, passed on.
我的心就就好比牙齒一樣
It's like my heart is a tooth,
有一個蛀洞，只有用孩子才能填滿它
and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children.
對不起
I'm sorry.
你是一個 漂亮的女士。你會說西班牙語嗎?
You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish?
我看起來像會說西班牙語嗎?
Do I look like I speak Spanish?
你有一個驢臉
You have a face como un burro.
謝謝你!
Well, thank you!
總之，我們能繼續進行領養手續了嗎?
Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption?
太，太興奮了!
So, so excited!
請讓瑪戈 伊迪斯和阿格蕾絲來大廳
Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby.
我打賭媽媽很漂亮!
I bet the mom is beautiful!
我打賭爸爸的眼睛會閃爍發光
I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle.
我打賭他們的房子一定是橡皮糖熊熊做的
I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears.
我只是說它肯定會很好
I'm just saying it'd be nice.
我的毛毛蟲永遠變成不了蝴蝶
My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly.
那是個爆米花
That's a Cheeto.
好吧，黛比是一個很幸運的女人
Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman.
黛比是誰
Who's Debbie?
你妻子
Your wife.
嗨，女孩們
Hi, girls!
女孩們，你們來見見格魯先生
Girls, I want you to meet Mr. Gru.