生活需要笑話，它能讓我們忘記不開心，歡迎欣賞英語笑話幽默笑翻天!
英語笑話幽默笑翻天
At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage.
在一場世界最佳擊劍手錶演中，排名第三的擊劍手上場了。
A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half.
一隻蒼蠅放了出來，劍劃了一個弧，他將蒼蠅劈成了兩半。
The crowd cheered.
觀眾歡呼起來。
Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters.
緊接著排名第二的人將一隻蒼蠅切成了四半。
A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.
現場一陣沉默，人們期盼著世界上最偉大的擊劍手出場。
His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast.
他的劍鋒以一個巨大的弧線劃了下來--然而那隻昆蟲還在繼續飛行!觀眾被驚呆了。
The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely,
觀眾被驚呆了。最偉大的'擊劍手完全錯過了他的目標，
yet he continued to smile.
然而他還在微笑著。
"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled.
“你為什麼這麼高興?”有人嚷道，
"You missed!"
“你沒擊中!”
"Ah," replied the swordsman,
“啊，”劍手答道，
"you weren't watching very carefully.
“你剛才沒有很仔細地看。
They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father.
蒼蠅還活著，是的--但他永遠也做不成爸爸了。
英語笑話幽默笑翻天
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老師:為什麼你每天早晨都遲到?
湯姆:每當我經過學校的拐角處,就看見一個牌子上寫著"學校----慢行".
英語笑話幽默笑翻天
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow.
曾經有隻蝸牛，它對自己動作慢的名聲感到了厭惡和疲倦。
Hedecided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference.
他決心去弄些跑得飛快的輪子來改變這種境況。
After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get.
逛了一圈之後，它決定買Datson 240-Z。
So the snail goes to the nearest Datsundealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".
去了最近的Datsun經銷店，去買Datson 240-Z，但是它想把這輛車重新刷漆，改稱240-S。
The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"
經銷商問：“為什麼是S呢?”
The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail.
蝸牛回答說：“‘s’代表蝸牛。
I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."
我想讓每一個看見我呼嘯而過的人知道是誰在開車。”
Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail,
經銷商不想失去把汽車賣給蝸牛這樣一個機會，
so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.
所以他同意收取些許費用，把車重新塗漆。
The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed.
蝸牛開著它的新車，把自己的餘生都用在了快樂地高速行使在告訴公路上。
And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"
而不論何時任何人看見它飛馳而過的時候，都會說：“哦!看那S-car 。”