英語笑話故事一： The mean man's party 吝嗇鬼的聚會
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
一個聲名狼藉的'小氣鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了後，再用你的腳把門推開。”
“為什麼我要用我的肘和腳呢?”
英語笑話故事二：Visual Training 視力訓練
The squad were having "visual training". One smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. The party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatinglythe recruit replied：
"Sixteen men and a sergeant , sir."
"Right, but how do you know there's a sergeant there?"
"He's not doing any digging, sir."
班裡正在進行“視力訓練”。一個聰明伶俐的新兵被班長叫出來數遠處曠野上採掘隊的人數。採掘隊在很遠的地方，那些人看起來只是一些小點兒。但是這個新兵毫不猶豫地回答。
“十六個兵外加一箇中士，長官。”
“正確，可是你怎麼知道那兒有一箇中士?”
“他不幹活，長官。”