適合國小生閱讀的英語笑話故事

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鉛筆

適合國小生閱讀的英語笑話故事

What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?

Answer: use a pen.

若聖誕老人的馴鹿吃掉你的鉛筆該怎麼辦?

答案:用原子筆

1000元的腦筋急轉彎

On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.

Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

聖誕節前夕,聖誕老人和一清廉的政治人物,以及一心地善良的律師在一家高階飯店一同等電梯,門還未開前,三人同時看到地上有一張新臺幣1000元的'鈔票,猜猜誰會將它撿起?

Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

答案:當然是聖誕老人啦!為什麼?因為大家都知道另外兩者並不存在。

法官與小偷

It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,

“What is your offense?”

“I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” answered the prisoner

聖誕佳節到來,法官心情愉悅的問受刑人:

“你做了什麼壞事啊?”

“我今年聖誕節購物早了些。”犯人回答

“那並不事件壞事”,法官說:“到底多早之前啊?”

“商店開門之前。”犯人答道。

The Three Stages of Man男性成長三階段

He believes in Santa Claus.

He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.

He is Santa Claus!

相信聖誕老人的存在。

不相信聖誕老人的存在。

自己是個聖誕老人!

Motivation 動機

MY ENGLISH PROFESSOR once launched into a lecture on "motivation." "What pushes you ahead?" he asked. "What is it that makes you go to school each day? What driving force makes you strive to accomplish?" Turning suddenly to one young woman, he demanded: "What makes you get out of bed in the morning?" The student replied: "My mother."

我們英文課的教授有一次在課上講“動機”。“是什麼推動你在人生的路上向前走?”他問道,“是什麼讓你每天上學來?又是什麼驅使你追求成功?”衝著一個女學生,他問:“是什麼讓你早晨從床上爬起來的呢?”學生答道:“我媽媽。”

Mental deficiency 智力缺陷

"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked ..."how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." " Well, What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

“醫生,你能不能告訴我,”鮑勃問,“對於一個看上去很正常的人,你是怎樣判斷出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再沒有比這容易的了,”醫生回答,“問他一個簡單的問題,簡單到所有人都知道答案,如果他回答得不乾脆,那你就知道是怎麼回事了。”“那要問什麼樣的問題呢?”“嗯,你可以這樣問,‘庫克船長環球旅行了三次,但是在其中一次的途中他去世了,是哪一次呢?’”鮑勃想了一會兒,緊張的回答道,“你就不能問另外一個問題嗎?坦率地說,我對歷史瞭解的不是很多。”