吝嗇鬼的聚會 The mean man's party
The Mean Man's Party
The notorious(聲名狼藉的，臭名昭著的) cheap skate(小氣鬼) finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow(肘部，扶手) . When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
吝嗇鬼的聚會
一個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了後，再用你的`腳把門推開。”
“為什麼我要用我的肘和腳呢?”
視力訓練 Visual training
Visual Training
The squad(班，小隊) were having "visual training". One smart recruit(新兵，招募) was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. The party was so faraway(遙遠的，恍惚的) that the men appeared as mere dots, butunhesitatingly(迅速地) the recruit replied：
"Sixteen men and a sergeant(中士，軍士) , sir."
"Right, but how do you know there's a sergeant there?"
"He's not doing any digging, sir."
視力訓練
班裡正在進行“視力訓練”。一個聰明伶俐的新兵被班長叫出來數遠處曠野上採掘隊的人數。採掘隊在很遠的地方，那些人看起來只是一些小點兒。但是這個新兵毫不猶豫地回答。
“十六個兵外加一箇中士，長官。”
“正確，可是你怎麼知道那兒有一箇中士?”
“他不幹活，長官。”
新員工 A New Employee
A New Employee
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.
What is the meaning of this? the director asked. When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.
Well, the young man said, in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.
新員工
一個年輕人在被僱用幾個星期後，被叫到人事經理的辦公室。
這是什麼意思?經理問，當你申請這份工作時，你告訴我們有五年工作經驗，現在我們發現這其實是你的第一份工作。
嗯，年輕人回答，你們的廣告上說需要找一個有想象力的人嘛。