Cry
"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."
"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."
"But has he finished his own cake?"
"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."
“湯姆，你弟弟怎麼了?” 媽媽在廚房裡問。“他在哭。”
“沒事兒，媽媽，”湯姆答道。“我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因為我不給他吃。”
“他已經吃完自己的了麼?”
“是的。”“我幫他吃完時，他也哭了。”
可憐的男人
A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.
Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"
The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."
Bartender: "That should make you happy."
The man: "No, the month is up today!"
一個男人坐在酒吧裡，傷心至極。
酒吧招待：“你怎麼了?跟老婆鬧矛盾了?”
男人：“我們吵了一架，她說一個月都不跟我說話。”
酒吧招待：“那你應該高興才是啊!”
男人：“不，今天是這個月的最後一天。”
太黑了，看不見
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."
晚飯後，父親和母親都忙著和客人玩麻將，這時母親忽然想起點兒事來，便對正在看電視的兒子說道：“寶貝，去看看廚房裡的燈是不是還開著呢?” 過了一會兒，兒子回來說：“媽，廚房裡太黑了，我根本就看不見。”
One real man 一個真正的男子漢
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(嚴格地，嚴厲地).
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(勸告，建議) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted(膽小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.
Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.
古代有一個國王，他想證明他領土內的男人並非像人們傳說的那樣，受到老婆的管制。他把王國裡所有的男人都召到跟前，警告說，哪個男人膽敢不說實話，就會受到嚴厲的懲罰。
然後，他叫所有聽從妻子的命令和意見的男人都走向大廳的左側。所有的男人都站到了左側，只有一個小個子男人站到了右側。
國王說：看到我們國家裡還有一個真正的男子漢，真是令人高興。告訴這些膽小的笨蛋，為什麼在他們當中只有你一個人站在大廳的`右側。
陛下，那人尖聲地回答：因為在我出門之前，我老婆告訴我不要扎堆。
萬能的聖誕老人並非啥都知道
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
一個女孩爬到聖誕老人的膝蓋上，聖誕老人例行公事的問：“今年聖誕節你想要什麼呢?”
孩子瞪大眼睛驚訝的望著聖誕老人一分鐘都沒講話，然後喘著氣說到：“你沒收到我的電子郵件嗎?(我想要什麼都寫上面了，萬能的聖誕老人咋能不知道捏)”
Psychiatrist 精神病醫生
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!
傑瑞去看精神病醫生。“醫生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時間，”醫生說，“每週來三次，我會治好你。”“費用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認真考慮的。”傑瑞答道。六個月後醫生和傑瑞在街上相遇了，“為什麼你再也沒來呢?”醫生問。“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎麼做到的?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉。現在那沒人了!”