生活需要笑話，以下是本站笑話欄目準備的史上最逗英語笑話大全，一起來爆笑吧!
史上最逗英語笑話大全(一)
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行櫃檯，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最後實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”
史上最逗英語笑話大全(二)
Mum advice her daughter "if a boy touched ur breast say DON'T n if he touched ur vegi... say STOP IT. 1 week girl told her mum." mum a boy touched my both then i said DON'T STOP IT"
媽媽對女兒說：“如果有人對你非禮，他如果摸你上面你就喊“不要.不要”，他如果摸你下面你就喊“停.停”，過了幾天，媽媽問女兒有沒有人對你非禮?女兒說有人對她非禮。媽媽說你喊了嗎，女兒說喊了。媽媽說你怎麼喊的，女兒說：“那天那個人上下同時摸，我就喊“不要停，不要停”!
史上最逗英語笑話大全(三)
"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.”
“醫生”她衝進屋後大聲說道。"我想讓你坦率地告訴我，我到底得了什麼病。"
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,”he said at length, “l've just three things to telf you. First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, l'm an artist,the doctor lives downstairs."
他從頭到腳打量了她，然後大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的'體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的相貌將會變美。第三，我是一位畫家——醫生住在樓下。”