1、Joke: How old am I?
A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out very well and she enjoys showing off her new look.
She goes to the newsstand and asks the man, "Sir, how old do you think I am?" The man replies, "You're 30, right?" She says "No, I'm 47, but nice try."
The next day, she goes to McDonald's. She orders her lunch and asks the young man at the counter, "How old do you think I am?" The man replies, You're 37, right?" The lady says "No, I'm 47, but good guess."
After lunch, she gets on the bus and she asks an 85-year-old man how old she is. He replies, "Lady, I can tell how old any woman is by sticking my hand down her panties." So, quietly and quickly, she lets him do so. He thinks a moment and announces, "You're 47!"
The lady, astonished, asks, "How did you know?"
The old man replies, "I was standing right behind you at McDonald's."
2、英語冷笑話之I don't think I know
Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
John: "What do you think it is, sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"
老師：“John，動詞ring的過去分詞是什麼?”。
約翰：“你想它是什麼呢”?
老師：“我不用想，我知道!”。
約翰：“我想我不知道”。
3、Improvement
mprovement
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
進步
一位學生對另一位說：“你的 英語 最近學的怎麼樣?”
“很好，我過去不懂英國人說話，可現在是英國人不懂我的話了。”
4、Two Pieces of Cake 兩塊蛋糕
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
兩塊蛋糕
湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?
媽媽：當然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!