“Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house.”
“Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting.” (Translation: Short-order cook.)
“But es more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.”
“I have an Excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
“My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company in particular.”
“Title: Another resume from the Profiles in Excellence series.”
“Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, -it.”
“Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks.”
“Lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience.”