英語笑話“Can you speak English”大家快點來看哦。
一場特殊的足球比賽
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."
"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.
"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.
麥克上學遲到了。他對布萊克老師說：“對不起，老師，今天早上我遲到了。因為我在夢裡觀看了一場球賽。”
“為什麼它會讓你遲到呢?”老師問道。
“因為這兩個隊都沒有能力獲勝，所以就持續的時間長了。”麥克回答說。
Reason of Punishment 懲罰的原因
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.
The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
一天，小女孩從學校回到家裡，對媽媽說：媽媽，今天在學校裡我因為一件我沒有做的`事情而受到懲罰。
媽媽激動地說：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老師好好談一談，對了，你沒有做過的那件事是什麼?
小女孩回答說：我的家庭作業。
Boy, Oh Boy 讓人無奈的孩子
When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "
我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時候，總要招來大亂。一個星期六，我開始抗議了。“好啦，你們兩個，”我嚴厲地說，“不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許扯淡，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。” 我剛轉身要走，就聽我兒子說：“來，斯蒂文，我們來把自己弄髒吧。”
Does He Bite 它咬人嗎
Reggie: We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?
Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?
Reggie: That's what I want to find out.
裡基：我們又得到了一條新狗，你願意過來和他玩一會嗎?
羅恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人嗎?
裡基：這正是我想要查明的。
To Buy a Video 買錄影機
Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.
But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.
Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!
艾莫斯問媽媽他們是否能買一臺錄影機。
恐怕我們還買不起，媽媽嘆息著說。
可第二天當艾莫斯回來時，他搖搖晃晃地搬著一臺全新的錄影機。
你究竟是哪兒來的錢買這東西?媽媽大吃一驚，喘著氣說。
媽媽，這簡單， 艾曼斯回答。我把電視機給賣了!
Can you speak English
去年春節回老家時，看到一個老外在向一個農民伯伯問路。只見那個老外一邊說著生硬的中文，一邊用手筆劃，但那個農民伯伯卻還是不明白。最後，那個農民伯伯說了一句讓我至今難忘的話：“Can you speak English?”
how much
剛剛去營業廳衝話費，聽到服務小姐說，how much?我愣了好久，沒反應過來，心想英語都普及到這地步了?遂回答，50。他也愣了，又重複了一次，我這才聽明白她剛才說的是，號碼是?
外國同事
我們外國同事突然問我：你們中國人最愛用的外語口頭禪是不是“what‘s up‘?感覺你們見面時常說“what‘s up‘，有時候自己對著電腦都會自言自語說，是受美國文化影響麼?我想了半天是不是有這麼回事，然後突然恍然大悟，對她說：我操!
香蕉用英語怎麼說?
“閨女，香蕉用英語怎麼說?”“banana!”“蘋果呢?”“iPhone!”“那大蘋果呢?”“iPad!”