導語：每天看幾個笑話，即使有不開心的事，也很快就會忘記的，來今天小編為大家準備了值得推薦的幽默英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
1 Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?Tommy: her: And then if I cut it twice again?Tommy: Hamburger.
老師：如果我把一塊牛排切成兩半的兩半，我能得到幾塊兒?湯米：四塊。老師：那我要是再切兩次，我能得到什麼呢?湯米：漢堡。
2 Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
兩塊蛋糕
湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?
媽媽：當然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!
3 Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”
哥哥想了一會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”
4 It's not my fault
Mother (reprimanding訓斥，譴責 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
不是我的錯
媽媽(正教訓她的女兒)：你不該拽貓的.尾巴。
女兒：媽，我只是握著貓尾巴，它自己在拽。
5 The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒有關係，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”
6 On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.
在觀看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼兒園老師問學生的觀後感。班上最小的女孩說，她希望舞蹈演員可以長得更高一點兒，那麼他們就不用整天踮著腳尖了。