笑話指引人發笑的話題。小編整理的關於英語語法的笑話，喜歡的趕緊來看下吧!
律師、寶馬和胳膊
一個律師開啟他的寶馬車門，突然一輛汽車駛過來把門撞飛了，警察趕到現場，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛的寶馬。
“警察同志，看看他們把我的車弄的!!!”律師哀怨地說。
“你們律師真是物質至上，我很不舒服!”警察反駁說，“你這麼關心你可惡的寶馬，你可能沒有注意到你的左胳膊也沒了。”
律師終於注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的勞力士手錶在哪兒?”
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
狗住旅店
一個人給一家他計劃在假期裡停留的小旅館寫了封信，“我非常希望帶著我的狗，它很乾淨很有教養，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”
旅館主人立即回了封信，“我經營旅館很多年了，狗從沒偷過毛巾，床單， 餐具，或者牆上的畫。我也從沒有在半夜因為狗喝醉胡鬧而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來我們旅館，如果它為您擔保，也歡迎您來。
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
顧客和服務員之間的對話
顧客：小心，你的大拇指在我湯裡了!
服務員：別擔心，先生，不是很燙!
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!
Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
一個服務員給顧客拿來了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。
“你瘋了嗎?”顧客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上!”
“什麼?”服務員說，“你想讓它再掉地上?”
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?"
"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"
服務員：茶或咖啡?先生。
第一個顧客：我要茶
第二個顧客：我也是茶——杯子要乾淨的!
服務員：兩杯茶，哪個要乾淨的杯子?
Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
1st customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!"
(Waiter exits, returns)
Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"
創新句子：我堅持用乾淨杯子喝茶。
服務員，這隻蒼蠅在我湯裡幹什麼?
看起來象是在仰泳，先生……
Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir...
服務員，湯裡有隻蒼蠅!
別擔心，先生，麵包裡的蜘蛛會幹掉它。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.
服務員，我湯裡有隻蒼蠅!
不是，先生，那是蟑螂，蒼蠅在你牛排裡。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.
服務員，湯裡有隻蒼蠅!
別讓別人看見，先生，要不別人都要。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Keep it down sir, or they'll all be wanting one.
服務員，湯裡有隻蒼蠅!
我知道，先生，我們沒有另收錢。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!
服務員，湯裡有隻蒼蠅!
對不起，先生，我弄走那三個時忘了這個。
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!
Sorry sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.
服務員，湯裡有隻死蒼蠅!
是的，先生，是開水殺死了它們。
Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
Yes sir, it's the hot water that kills them.
服務員，湯裡有隻死蒼蠅!
1美元你想要什麼——活的?
aiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
What do you expect for $1 - a live one?
服務員，湯裡有隻蜜蜂!
是的，先生，今天蒼蠅放假。
Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup.
Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.
服務員，來杯咖啡，不加奶油。
對不起，先生，奶油沒了，不加奶怎麼樣?
Waiter, I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.
I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?
Waiter, this coffee tastes like dirt!
Yes sir, thats because it was only ground this morning.
Ground:研磨;地面
服務員，你的領帶在我的湯裡了。
沒關係，先生，它不縮水。
Waiter, your tie is in my soup!
That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他贏了
湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？
約翰尼：他害病臥床了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎麼回事兒？
約翰尼：我們做遊戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I‘d know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜裡
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裡。他媽媽問，“發生了什麼事？”
“一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認出來嗎？”媽媽問。
“他走到哪裡我都能認出他，”伊凡說。“他的.耳朵還在我衣兜裡呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢幹什麼了？”
“我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？”
“她是個賣糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什麼意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裡沒有乳酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片乳酪回到房間，把乳酪放在客人的盤子裡。 客人微笑著把乳酪放進嘴裡說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裡找到的乳酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。