1、Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work.
The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside them is numbered."
"I think librarians are the easiest," said the second. "When you open them up, all their organs are arranged alphabetically1."
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. Their organs are color-coded."
"You're all wrong," said, the fourth. "Lawyers are easiest. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asset are interchangeable."
四個醫生邊喝咖啡休息邊討論他們的工作。
第一個說，“我認為給會計手術最容易,因為他們的器官都有編號。”
“我覺得圖書管理員最容易。”第二個說, “他們的器官都按字母順序排列。”
第三個醫生說，“我喜歡給電工手術，他們的器官都有帶顏色的編碼。”
“你們都錯了”，第四個說，“律師是最容易的`，他們沒心、沒腸、沒骨頭，而且他們的腦子用錢就能換掉。”
2、Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?
Witness1: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.
律師：你說你離事故現場約有35英尺，你能看清多遠的東西?
證人：這麼說吧，早上起床後我看見太陽，別人告訴我這大約有9300萬英里遠。
3、An American attorney1 had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked. "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and then suel the landowners for lots of money?"
Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partners and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law.
"No, no." one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks."
一位美國律師剛結束他在義大利一所法律學校的客座演講，就有一位義大利律師走近他問：“聽說在你們國家裡，一個人跌倒在人行道上，他就會起訴這塊地的所有者賠償很多錢，這是真的嗎?”
得知這是真的後，義大利律師轉向他的同行開始用義大利語快速談論起來。當他們停下來後，美國律師問他們是否想去美國做法律工作。
“不，不，”有一個人回答說，“我們要去美國跌倒在人行道上。”