英語小笑話一：Christmas Eve Service 平安夜禮拜
Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity in the church failed. The ushers and I found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. Then I reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, "Now, where was I?" A tired voice called out, "Right near the end!"
就在我開始平安夜禱告時，教堂停電了。教堂裡的`接待人員和我找到一些蠟燭，把它們放在禮堂周圍。然後我重返講道壇，整理了一下筆記後，我說：“剛才我講到哪兒了?”傳來一陣不耐煩的聲音：“馬上就講完了!”
英語小笑話二：Prepare Yourself 做好準備
A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."
Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
校園裡流傳著這樣的故事：一個學生一次給父母拍了一份電報，上面寫著：“媽媽-我所有功課都不及格，被學校開除。讓爸爸做好準備。”
兩天以後，他收到了回電：“爸爸已準備好。你自己做好準備吧!”