英語幽默故事小短文一：
Friend for Dinner "Honey," said the husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
“親愛的，”丈夫對妻子說：“我邀請了一位朋友回家吃晚飯。” “什麼?你瘋了嗎?我們的房子亂糟糟的，我很久沒有買過東西回來了，所有的碗碟都是髒的，還有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚飯。” “這些我全都知道。” “那你為什麼還要邀請朋友回來吃晚飯?” “因為那個可憐的笨蛋正考慮要結婚呢。”
英語幽默故事小短文二：
An Advertisement for Modern Bicycle Tom saw an advertisement in a newspaper for a beautiful modern bicycle which cost £50, so he went to the shop to have a look. After examining the bicycle carefully, Tom turned to the shopkeeper and said, "There isn't a lamp on this bicycle, but there was one on the bicycle in your advertisement." "Yes, sir," answered the shopkeeper, "but the lamp isn't included in the price of the bicycle. It's an extra." "Not included in the price of bicycle?" Tom said angrily, "But that's not honest. If the lamp's in the advertisement, it should have been included in the price you gave there." "Well, sir," answered the shopkeeper calmly, "there is also a girl on the bicycle in our advertisement, shall we supply one for you too?"
湯姆在報紙上看到一輛很漂亮的摩登自行車的'廣告，標價50英鎊，於是他到商店去看一看。 湯姆很仔細地看完那輛自行車後，轉過身對店主說：“這輛自行車少了一盞燈，但在廣告上的自行車是有的。”“是的，先生，”店主回答說，“但那盞燈不包括在自行車的價格裡面，是另外收費的。” “不包括在自行車價格裡面?”湯姆很生氣，“但這是不誠實的。如果燈在廣告上，它就應該包括在你所標出的價格之內。” “嗯，先生，”店主冷靜地回答：“在我們的自行車廣告上還有一個女孩，難道我們也要為您提供一個嗎?”
英語幽默故事小短文三：
Ashamed Soldier Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting. One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, "You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!" Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot. "Heavens!" the officer said. "Has that silly man really shot himself?" He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. "I'm sorry, sir," he said, "but I missed again."
彼得十八歲那年參了軍，他需要參加幾個月的學習以成為一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射擊不行。一天他和夥伴們練習射擊，除了彼得其他人都沒有問題。他射了九次，一次也沒有命中目標。這時，教新兵射擊的教官說：“彼得，你看來是沒希望了，不要連最後一發子彈都浪費掉!去那堵牆後面用它向自己打一槍吧。” 彼得感到非常慚愧。他走到那堵牆後面。幾分鐘後，教官和新兵們聽到一聲槍響。 “上帝!”教官叫起來，“難道那個笨蛋真的朝自己開槍了?” 他急忙跑到那堵牆後面，發現彼得安然無恙。“對不起，長官，”他說，“我還是沒有命中。”