roast pig 烤乳豬
A gentleman was invited for dinner. When he hurried there and sat down, he was happy to see a roast pig in front of his seat:"Not bad, I am next to the pig." But then he noticed the angry fat lady sitting next to him. He faked a smile and added: "Oh I am sorry, I meant the roasted one on the table."
一位先生去赴宴遲到了，匆忙入座後，發現自己的座位正對著乳豬，於是大為高興的說：“還不錯，我坐在乳豬的旁邊。”這時才發現身旁的一位胖女士正怒目相視，他忙陪笑改口到：“對不起，我說的是那隻烤好的。”
there's only ONE policeman
ne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
譯文：
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的`年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什麼意思?”“唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀!”
爺爺給我付賬
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."
一個漂亮的女孩走到百貨公司的布料櫃檯，說：“我想要買這種料子來做一條新裙子，多少錢?”
“每碼只需要一個吻。”男售貨員說著，帶著奸笑的表情“很好，”女孩說，“我要十碼。”
帶著期待的表情，售貨員很快地量好了布料，包裹好，一臉奸笑地送了過來。
女孩很快收起了包裹，微笑著指向了一個站在她身邊的老頭：“爺爺給我付賬。”