人們什麼時候說話最少?
Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom?
老師: 湯姆，“男人”這個詞的複數形式是什麼?
Tom: Men.
湯姆:男人們。
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
老師: 答得好。那“孩子”的複數形式呢?
Tom : Twins.
湯姆: 雙胞胎。
我丈夫剛進來
The couple seated in restaurant seemed to be having a wonderful time. But as the woman glanced away from the table，their waiter suddenly rushed over.
在飯館裡坐著一對夫婦，他們看上去非常高興。但是當那女子向旁邊瞥了一眼時，服務員馬上跑了過來。
“Madam look,”he said.“Your husband just slid under the table.”
“夫人，您瞧,” 他說,“您丈夫滑到桌子底下去了。”
“No,he didn't,”she replied.“My husband just came in the door.”
“不，他沒有,” 她回答,“我丈夫剛從門外進來。”
有兩條褲子
A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible,” she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”
丈夫下班回到家裡，發現自己的新娘心緒煩亂。“我心裡太難受了，”她說。“我在給你熨西裝時把褲子的臀部燒了個大洞。”
“Forget it ,” consoled her husband. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”
“沒事兒，”丈夫安慰她說。“你忘了我這套衣服有兩條褲子。”
“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. "And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.”
“是的，”妻子高興地說，“幸虧你還有一條，我後來就用它來補了這個洞了。”
死於肝癌的人100%都吃飯
Wife:You rding to te statistics on the paper 80% of
those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho.
妻子：你瞧，根據這報上登的統計數字，那些死於肝癌的人有80%都喝酒。
Husband:It's okey. To my investigation, all Thespeopleeat
meals.
丈夫：那就不錯了。據我調查，所有這些人都吃飯呢。
我是單身漢
Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back.
傑克騎車摔傷，去醫院治療。一位年輕美貌的護士拿著表格讓填。 傑克填好後遞上表格。
"Anything else?"The nurse asked. "Yes," Jack thinks for a while and said "l'm a bachelor."
“還有什麼漏填的?”護士問。“有!”傑克想了想說，“我是個單身漢。”
狗住旅店
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
有個人給一家他計劃在假期裡停留的小旅館寫了封信，“我非常希望帶著我的狗，它很乾淨很有教養，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
旅館主人立即回了封信，“我經營旅館很多年了，狗從沒偷過毛巾，床單， 餐具，或者牆上的畫。我也從沒有在半夜因為狗喝醉胡鬧而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來我們旅館，如果它為您擔保，也歡迎您來。