笑話是幽默的載體，一個成功的笑話能流傳千古，聽者和講者都會感到快樂、欣喜，拍掌叫好!今天我們就一起來看看幽默搞笑英語笑話集錦吧!
幽默搞笑英語笑話集錦(一)
怎麼把口香糖取出來呢
How do I get the gum out? Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?
怎麼把口香糖取出來呢當空中小姐給乘客們發口香糖的時候，她解釋說口香糖有助於他們防止耳鳴。飛機著陸後，一位乘客跑到這位空中小姐面前，說道：“ 我馬上就要見到我妻子了。我怎麼才能把口香糖從耳朵裡面取出來呢?”
幽默搞笑英語笑話集錦(二)
沒把頭髮全剪掉啊
Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him."Hello, Miles," the manager said. "I see that you are having your hair cut in office time.""Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly. "You see, sir, it grows in office time.""Not all of it," said the manager at once. "Some of it grows in your own time.""Yes, sir, that's quite true." Answered Miles politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off."麥爾斯有時在上班時間去理髮館理髮，但這是違反辦公室規定的：職員只能利用自己的時間理髮。一天，正當麥爾斯理髮時，經理碰巧也進來理髮，而且就坐在他旁邊。“你好，麥爾斯，”經理說。“我看到你在上班時間理髮了。”“是的，先生。正是這樣。”麥爾斯平靜地承認了。可先生，你看，頭髮是在上班時間長的。“不全都是吧，”經理立刻說，“有一些是在你自己的時間裡長的.。”“對呀，先生，你說得很對。”麥爾斯禮貌地回答說，“但我並沒有把頭髮全都剪掉啊。”
幽默搞笑英語笑話集錦(三)
保證沒走錯To be on the Safe Side
In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer.
在一家電影院裡，一名觀眾在演出期間站了起來，沿著他那排位子走到休息室去了。
A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:
幾分鐘後，他回到那排位子並問坐在首位的那位男士道：
"Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?"
“對不起，請問我剛才出去的時候是踩著你的腳嗎?”
"Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all."
“是的，不過沒什麼關係，一點也不疼。”
"Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row."
“噢，不，我不是這個意思。我只是想確認一下這是不是我的那排位子。”