Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then.更多英語笑話盡在應屆畢業生笑話網。
我不敢想象
Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from." 客人：“為什麼你的狗狗坐在那兒老是看著我吃東西呢?”旅館主人：“我不敢想象，除非是因為你拿了它經常用來吃東西的盤子了。”
我不能說是哪一年
Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year. Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes, but I can't say in which.手相大師：你手上的生命線顯示出你還有一年將會死去。顧客：天哪，一年後?手相大師：是的，可是我不能說是哪一年。
給我那個打贏的
Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then.服務員，這個龍蝦只有一隻爪。對不起，先生，這隻肯定打過架了。哦，那給我那個打贏的吧。
在電話本上
Boy: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" girl: "It's in the phone book." Boy: "But I don't know your name." girl: "That's in the phone book too." 男：我想給你打電話。你的電話號碼是多少?女：在電話本上呢。男：可是我不知道你的'名字呀。女：也在電話本上呢。
粗心的教授
The absent-minded professor shouted: "Kate, come to the blackboard!" Another student says, "Kate is absent, Professor." "Silent! Let Kate speak for herself."粗心的教授大聲地喊道：“凱特，到黑板前面來!”另外一個學生說：“教授，凱特沒來。”“別出聲，讓凱特自己講。”
我可以存多少錢
Husband: Before I married you, I never thought of saving : And now?Husband: Now I'm thinking About how much I could have saved if I hadn't married you.丈夫：在娶你進門之前，我從來沒有想過要存錢。妻子:那現在呢?丈夫：現在我在想，要是沒有娶你的話，我可以存多少錢。