一個律師開啟他的寶馬車門，突然一輛汽車駛過來把門撞飛了，警察趕到現場，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛的寶馬。
“警察同志，看看他們把我的車弄的!!!”律師哀怨地說。
“你們律師真是物質至上，我很不舒服!”警察反駁說，“你這麼關心你可惡的'寶馬，你可能沒有注意到你的左胳膊也沒了。”
律師終於注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的勞力士手錶在哪兒?”
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
Ivan came homewith a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bitme," replied Ivan.
"Would yourecognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know himany where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裡。他媽媽問，“發生了什麼事?”
“一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認出來嗎?”媽媽問。
“他走到哪裡我都能認出他，”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜裡呢。”
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in afight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
給我那個打贏的吧
-- 服務員，
這個龍蝦只有一隻爪。
-- 對不起，先生，這隻肯定打過架了。
-- 哦，那給我那個打贏的吧