Is he dying?
A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.
Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.
一個男人坐在酒吧裡痛哭流淚。一個朋友走進來問他為何如此傷心。那人哭著說：剛才醫生告訴我，在我的餘生裡都要吃這些藥片。
他的朋友很輕鬆地指出，許多人一輩子每天都要吃藥。當然，男人回答說：但是他只給了我十片。
The blonde and the farmer
There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。
一個金髮女郎，是那麼噁心的黃色笑話她把頭髮染成紅色。笑話停了下來，她覺得很好，她在農村的一個搭車的星期六下午。而在這旅程，她注意到一群羊，停下車來把......。
太晚了 It's Too Late
A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."
A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."
一個醫科學生被要求說明他給病人服的那種藥的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”
一分鐘後，這個學生問教授：“我可以改正我的`回答嗎?”教授看看手錶，說：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒鐘以前死了。”
因禍得福 To Profit from a Misfortune
A man was a butterfingers. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.
At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.
The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."
有一個人很粗心，老是打爛東西。他已失業好幾個月了。
最後他在一個瓷器店找到了一個工作。可是才幹了幾天，他就打爛了一個很大的花瓶。
經理把他到辦公室去，告訴他每個星期都要扣他的工錢，直到賠償夠了為止。他就問：“那個花瓶值多少錢?”經理說：“值500美元。”他很高興地說：“啊!太妙了，我非常高興，終於有個穩定的工作啦。”
我幹得怎麼樣 How did I do
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.
The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner, people." A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that !" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.
Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," chuckled the veteran policemen, "especially since this is a bus stop!"
一名新警察與老警察開著警車第一次出去巡邏。 他們得到命令去疏散一群閒逛的人，於是他們開車去了那條街，看到路口站著一群人。
新警察搖下窗戶：“大家注意了，快離開這裡。”人們看了他幾眼，沒理他。他喊起來：“離開這裡，馬上離開!”大家都不知道怎麼回事，但是在他的威脅下還是離開了。
新警察對他第一次執行公務的結果很滿意，對老警察說：“我幹得怎麼樣?”“你做得很好，”老警察笑著說，“尤其是在公共汽車站。”
我可以回家了
Now i can go home
One day after school the teacher said to his students，“Tomorrow morning，if any one of you can answer my first question.I'll permit him or her to go home earlier.” The next day，when the teacher came into the classroom，he found the blackboard was very angry and asked，“Who did it?Please stand up! ” “It' s me，”said Bob，“Now，I can go home，Good-bye，Sir! ”
一天，放學以後，老師對他的學生們說：“明天上午，如果你們當中的任何一個同學能回答我的第一個問題，我就准許他或她最先回家。”第二天，老師走進教室時發現黑板已被亂塗，他非常生氣地問：“誰塗的? 請站起來。”鮑勃說：“先生，是我，現在我可以回家了，再見。”