英語笑話“He is really somebody”真搞笑，大家一起來歡樂吧。
Lawyer and Engineer
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.
一個律師與一個工程師在加勒比海邊釣魚。律師說：“我到這裡是因為我的房子被大火燒了，保險公司賠償了我所有的損失。”
“這太巧了，”工程師說，“我是因為房子被洪水沖垮了，保險公司也賠償了所有的損失。”
律師看起來有些困惑，“你是怎麼引起洪水的?”他不解的問。
Lose One Pound減掉一磅
I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."
Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"
我稱讚我的一個同事減肥10磅。可是，我禁不住誇耀說我17歲時，體重225磅，而目前體重是224磅。我還說：“這對我這樣年齡的男子來說，是不錯的。”
一個女子聽到了這些話，她說道：“你是說你花了這麼長時間才減了1磅?”
The doctor lives downstairs醫生住在樓下
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
“醫生”她衝進屋後大聲說道。“我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什麼病。”
他從頭到腳打量打量她，然後大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的'美貌將會改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫生住在樓下。”
它們是從美國直接帶來的
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行櫃檯，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最後實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”
He is really somebody他真是一個大人物
My uncle has 1000 men under him.
He is really somebody. What does he do?
A maintenance man in a cemetery.
我叔叔下面有1000個人。
他真是一個大人物。幹什麼的?
墓地守墓人。
請把鬍子還給我
A man who sold brooms went into a barber’s shop to get shaved. The barber brought one of his brooms. After he had shaved him, he asked for the price of the brooms.
“Two pence,” said the man.
“No, no,” said the barber. “I will give you a penny, and if you don’t think that is enough, you may take your broom back!”
The man took it and asked what he had to pay his shave.
“A penny,” said the barber.
“I will give you a half penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again.”
一個賣掃帚的人去理髮店修面。理髮師從他那裡買了一把掃帚。當理髮師給他修面後，問一下他掃帚的價格。
買掃帚的人說：“兩個便士。”
“不，不。”理髮師說：“ 我只出一個便士，如果你認為不夠的話，可以把掃帚拿回去。”
賣掃帚的人拿回了掃帚，隨後問修面要付多少錢。
“一便士。”理髮師說。
賣掃帚的人說：“我給你半個便士，如果不夠的話，請把我的鬍子還給我。”