Santa's True Profession是一個很搞笑的英語笑話，大家來看看。
A Girl's Name 女孩的名字
When our daughter was born, we named her Myles, after my beloved late(已故的) father, despite family warning that the name was too masculine(男性的) .
Years later, when I felt she was old enough to understand, I explained to Myles, Your name is very special. I named you after my own father because I loved him very much. I know he would be proud of you.
Myles thought carefully about this and then said, I know all that, Mom. But I don't understand why my grandfather had a girl's name.
女兒出生時，我們給她取名叫邁爾斯，和我深愛的業已過世的父親同一個名字，不過家人提醒這個名字太男性化了。
幾年以後，我覺得邁爾斯已經長大，能夠懂事了。我對她解釋說：你的'名字很特別。我給你取了一個和我爸爸一樣的名字，因為我非常愛他。我相信他會為你而深感自豪的。
邁爾斯很仔細地想了一下，然後說道：這些我都懂，媽媽。可是我不知道外公為什麼會有一個女孩子的名字。
電腦問題
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges，delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
我在惠普公司印表機部做技術支援工作已經有一個月了，有一天我接到一位客戶的電話，她的問題我沒辦法解決。她的問題是：印表機不能打出來黃色，但是其它顏色都正常。這讓我覺得很納悶，因為三原色就是藍、紅、黃。我建議客戶更換墨盒、刪了驅動程式然後重新安裝，但是都沒有效果。我諮詢同事們，他們也不知道該怎麼辦。經過兩個多小時的交涉，我打算讓客戶把印表機寄給我們，這時候她平靜地說了一句：“我是不是應該把這張黃紙扔了換一張白紙再列印試試。”
聖誕老人的真實職業 Santa's True Profession
Do You Know Santa's True Profession?
Consider the following:
1. You never actually see Santa, only his "assistants."
2. Santa keeps his job until he decides to retire.
3. Santa doesn't really do the work; he directs a bunch of helpers to do all his work for him, but he's the one who everybody credits with the work.
4. Santa doesn't work a 40-hour week.
5. Santa travels a lot.
Santa is obviously a senior faculty member with tenure!
聖誕老人的真實職業是什麼?
考慮以下幾點
1. 你其實從來沒見過聖誕老人，你看見的都是他得助手(他得助手真的好多，除了過聖誕節的所有父母外，還有職業“聖誕老人”)
2. 聖誕老人不想退休，就可以一直當他的聖誕老人。
3. 聖誕老人不會做實事，他都是指揮一堆幫手幫他做完所有的事情，但是事情做得好還是不好，功績和責任都算聖誕老人的。
4. 聖誕老人實行的可不是朝九晚五雙休制。
5. 聖誕老人經常旅行
聖誕老人顯然是一個高階職員(please, 這世界上還有比他的工作更好的工作嗎?)
拿破崙病了
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
傑克到一所大學去學歷史。第一學期結束時，歷史課教授沒讓他及格，校讓他退學。然而，傑克的父親決定去見教授，強烈要求讓傑克繼續來年的學業。“他是個好孩子，”傑克的父親說，“您要是讓他這次及格，我相信他明年會有很大進步，學期結束時，他一定會考好的。”“不，不，那不可能，”教授馬上回答，“你知道嗎?上個月我問他拿破崙什麼時候死的，他都不知道。”“先生，請再給他一次機會吧。”傑克的父親說，“你不知道，恐怕是因為我們家沒有訂報紙，我們家的人連拿破崙病了都不知道。”