一個人的聰明才智會在幽默的談吐中閃光，並且會深深吸引他人。下面，小編給大家收集整理了爆笑短英語笑話，增加幽默細胞，聰明的你一定會成為閃光點。
爆笑短英語笑話篇一：
My Husband Will Be Home Soon
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.
"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...
"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
我丈夫馬上就要回來了
一個已婚男人去拜訪他的“女朋友”時，女朋友要求他剃去鬍鬚。
“噢，詹姆斯，我喜歡你的鬍子，但我更喜歡看到你英俊的面孔。”
詹姆斯回答說，“我的妻子喜歡我的鬍子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否則她會殺了我的。”
“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一種低沉的`、性感的聲音又一次說道。
“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜歡這鬍子。”
在女朋友再三請求下，他終於屈服同意了。夜裡，在妻子熟睡時，詹姆斯爬上了床。
妻子朦朦朧朧地摸了摸他的臉說道，“噢，邁克爾，你不應該在這裡，我的丈夫很快就要回來了。”
爆笑短英語笑話篇二：
Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking.
老師正在講課，彼得打起瞌睡來了。
Teacher: Peter!Tell us, what's the biggest in the world?
老師：彼得!你說說，世界上什麼最大?
Peter: Well, ids....
彼得: 嗯……嗯……眼皮……
Teacher: What?Eyelids?
老師：什麼?眼皮?
Peter: Yes, sir. Because as soon as I shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world.
彼得：是的，老師。因為我眼睛一閉，眼皮就把世界上所有的東西都遮住了。
爆笑短英語笑話篇三：
A man is talking to God.
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
爆笑短英語笑話篇四：
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children," said she , "has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?"
"Please, teacher,"said a small boy,"I've make someone glad yesterday."
"Well done. Who was that?"
"My granny."
"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
"Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!"
一個主日學校校(基督教教會為了向兒童灌輸宗教思想, 在星期天開辦的兒童班)的老師在對學生講使別人高興的重要性。“現在，孩子們，”她說：“你們當中有誰讓別人高興過?”
“我，老師，”一個小男孩說：“昨天我就使別人高興過。”
“做得好，是誰呢?”
“我奶奶。”
“好孩子。現在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的。”
“是這樣的，老師。我昨天去看她，在她那兒呆了三個小時。然後我跟她說：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她說：‘啊，我很高興!