●Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(長聲尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive.
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.
我五歲的兒子對摩托車有強烈的愛好。只要看見一輛摩托車，他就會高興得哇哇直叫，並激動地說：瞧這輛!瞧這輛，我總有一天也要有一輛。他爸爸的回答老是隻要我活著，你就別想有這玩藝兒。
一天我們的兒子跟他的小朋友在說話，有一輛摩托車開了過去。他興奮的指著摩托車叫道瞧這輛!瞧這輛!等我爸一死我就要有這樣一輛摩托車了。
●為什麼六怕七呢?
Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven "ate" nine.
問題：為什麼六怕七呢?
回答：因為七連九都能吃掉呢!
笑點是神馬?
本應該是seven eight nine, 但是利用了發音相同，將eight用ate(吃)替換掉了，你看懂了麼?
●用“beans(豆子)”造句
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
一名老師讓學生們利用單詞“beans(豆子)”造句，其中一個女孩說“我爸爸種豆子”。另外一個同學說“我媽媽炒豆子”。第三名學生說“我們是人類”。
笑點是神馬?
是不是看漢語的時候。不知道笑話在講神馬!!這就是中英文的差異了，老師讓用的單詞是beans(豆子的意思)，結果嘞，第三個學生呢，他將beings 和 beans 搞混了(因為發音相同啦)，正確的寫法應該是human beings， 而不是human beans呀!
●A Smart Housewife
精明的家庭主婦
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That' ll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
一位精明的家庭主婦聽人說有一種爐子用起來可以比她現在用的爐子省一半的'煤。她聽了大為興奮，說：“那太好了!一個爐子可以省一半的煤，那麼如果我買兩個爐子的話，不就可以把煤全都省下來了嗎?”
●Logic Reasoning
邏輯推理
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
國小四年級的教師正在給學生們上一堂邏輯課。
她舉了這麼一個例子：“有這樣一種情況，一個男人在河中心的船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進了水裡。於是他開始掙扎並喊救命。他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他並不會游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是為什麼?”
一個女生舉手答道，“是不是去取他的存款?”
[注]bank在英語中除了我們平時很熟悉的“銀行”之外，還有“河岸”的意思。
●Does the dog know the proverb,too?
狗也知道這個諺語嗎?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒有關係，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎?‘吠狗不咬人’。”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”
●Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢幹什麼了?”
“我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢?”
“她是個賣糖果的。”
●Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告訴
(2) nest n.窩;巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓勵
(5) resemble v. 相似;類似
鳥窩與頭髮
我姐姐是一位國小老師。一次一個學生告訴她說一隻鳥兒在教室外 的樹上壘了個窩。
“是什麼鳥呢?”我姐姐問她。
“我沒看到鳥兒，老師，只看到鳥窩。”那孩子回答說。
“那麼，你能給我們描述一下這個鳥巢嗎?”我姐姐鼓勵她道。
“哦，老師，就像你的頭髮一樣。”