1、話說某年某月的某一天，叄個神箭手約在一起比箭，目標是十尺外僕人頭上的蘋果。
A神箭手挽弓長射，咻一聲，利箭正中蘋果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿!」
B神箭手照本宣科，射中蘋果，這回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘位元!」
輪到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出!結果正中僕人的心臟。就聽他結結巴巴好久才吐出一句：「Y...」
Note by Jodie: 此處用西班牙口音說Sorry肥更有趣
2、昨天來了個外國人，進到辦公室，前臺小姐左看右看，大家都在打遊戲，只有自己比較清閒，就面帶微笑的："Hello?"
外國人："Hi."
前臺小姐："You have what thing?"(你有什麼事?)
外國人："Can you speak English?"(你會講英語嗎)
前臺小姐："If I not speak English， I am speaking what?"(如果我不會說，那我現在說的什麼)
外國人："Can anybody else speak English? "(還有誰能講英語嗎)
前臺小姐："You yourself look. all people are playing，no people have time， you can wait， you wait， you not wait， you go."(你自己看看，所有人都在玩呢，都沒空，你願意等就等，不願意就走你)
外國人：I want to ask about online shopping.(我想諮詢下關於網上購物的事情)
前臺小姐:Online shopping?is Use Internet shopping，You de understand?(網上購物?就是用上網購物，你的明白?)
外國人：。。。。。
前臺小姐：you can baidu“top leader”!!你可以去百度“尚品領袖”
外國人：。。。。"Good heavens. anybody here can speak English?"(我的上帝，這兒有誰會說英語嗎?) I want to speak to your head."(我想和你的領導談談)
前臺小姐："Head not tomorrow come."(頭兒不在，你明天再來吧)
3、Bad news and good news 好訊息和壞訊息
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display.
一名藝術家問畫廊老闆，最近有沒有人對他展出的畫感興趣。
"I've got good news and bad news," owner replied.
“這有好訊息和壞訊息，”老闆回答。
"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.
“好訊息是有一位先生諮詢你的作品，他想知道在你死後你的畫會不會升值。
When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings.
我告訴他你的畫會升值，他就把你的15幅畫全都買走了。”
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed," What's the bad news?"
“真是太好了”，藝術家是喜形於色，“那壞訊息是什麼?”
With concern, the gallery owner replied,"The guy was your doctor."
帶著關心的口吻，畫廊老闆回答，“買畫的`人是你的醫生”。
4、女兒的來信
Joan and her neighbor are talking about their daughters, Joan says, my daughter is at the university.
She’s very bright, you know. Every time we get a letter from her we have to go to the dictionary.
Her neighbor says you are lucky every time we hear from our daughter we have to go to the bank.
Joan和她的鄰居在一起聊天，聊到各自的女兒;Joan說我女兒在上大學。她很聰明，你知道的。每次我們接到她的來信，我們都要查字典。
她的鄰居說，你真幸運!每次我們接到我女兒的信，我們都要去銀行。
5、A New Mum took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time.
一個年輕的媽媽頭一回帶著她的寶貝女兒到超市買東西，
She dressed her in pink from head to toe.
她把小寶貝從頭到腳穿上粉紅色的衣服。
At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her.
在商場，她把小女孩放在購物車裡，把買來的東西都推在孩子周圍。
At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them.
在付款臺前排隊時，一個小男孩和他媽媽正好排在她們前面。
The child was crying and begging for some special treat.
那個小男孩在哭，看上去在向他媽要著什麼東西，年輕的媽媽想，
He wants some candy or gumand his mother won't let him have any, she thought.
這個小孩一定是要糖果或是口香糖之類的玩意兒，而他媽媽又不給，所以才鬧得這麼厲害。
Then she heard his mother's reply.
然而就在這個時候，她聽到男孩的媽媽一邊回答說，
"No!"she said, looking in her direction.
“不行，”一邊往她的方向看過來，
"You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one"
“你今天不能買一個小妹妹了，那位女士把最後一個買走了!”