總所周知，笑話是一種緩和氣氛的好辦法。小編在這裡給大家分享搞笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯，走過路過不要錯過啦!
搞笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯一：
This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent‘s witnesses.
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.
“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel.“There is no need for you to argue the point!”
“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness.
“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.
“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife?”
這個故事講的是一個咄咄逼人的辯護律師，他慣於儘量去恐嚇對方的證人。
有一個證人有點傾向於在回答問題之前做冗長的解釋。
“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辯護律師怒喝道： “你沒有必要就這個問題進行爭論。”
“可是有些問題無法用‘是’或者‘不是’來回答。”這位證人溫和地回敬他。
“不存在這樣的問題!”律師厲聲打斷他。
“噢，”證人說：“那麼請你回答這個問題：“你停止打你老婆了嗎?”
搞笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯二：At Grandma's 在奶奶家過聖誕節
- Written by Tab Nettleton
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
兩個小男孩在奶奶家過平安夜，臨睡前，兩個小傢伙跪在床邊禱告，弟弟便扯開嗓子大喊出自己的願望。
"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
我希望收到一輛自行車...
I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...
還有一部任天堂遊戲機....
I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."
還有新的錄影機
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"
小男孩的哥哥搓了搓他說道：“你幹嘛禱告得這麼大聲，上帝又不是聾子”。弟弟回答到：“我知道上帝不是聾子，可是奶奶是啊”。
搞笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯三：
I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"
“孩子，你為什麼用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了嗎?”
"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other, so I am trying to stop it."
“沒有，老師。可是你昨天說你告訴我的知識都是一個耳朵裡進，一個耳朵裡出，所以我要把它堵在裡面。”
搞笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯四：A Nail Or A Fly?
釘子還是蒼蠅?
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor.
一位視力正在衰退的老紳士住進了一家旅館的客房。他雙手各拿一瓶酒。在牆上有隻蒼蠅，他誤以為是枚釘子。他把兩隻瓶子朝上一掛，瓶子掉下來摔碎了，酒灑了一地。
When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him anddecided to do him a favour.
一個女服務員發現發生的事情以後，對他深表同情，決定幫他個忙。
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
於是，第二天早上他到樓頂花園散步時，她把一枚釘子釘在了蒼蠅停過的'地方。
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adnslapped it with all his strength.
這裡，老人回到了房裡。倒灑的酒味讓他想起了那件事。他抬頭往牆上一看，蒼蠅又停在了那兒!他輕手輕腳地走近，使盡全力拍了一掌。
On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
聽到一聲大叫，好心的女服務員衝進房來。讓她大為吃驚的是，可憐的老頭正坐在地板上，牙關緊咬，右手滴血不止。
搞笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯五：Present for Girlfriend
送給女友的禮物
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.
在一家珠寶店裡，一位年輕人買了一個貴重的小金盒作為送給女友的禮物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面嗎?”珠寶商問道。
The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it 'To my one and only love'. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."
那名顧客想了一會兒，然後說道：“不--在上面刻‘給我唯一的愛’。這樣，如果我們鬧崩了，我還可以再用到它。”