同學們都鬧出過怎樣的笑話?不妨道來大家聽聽本站小編為您整理的英語笑話。
誰欠誰錢
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.
律師的狗，沒有拴而到處閒逛，它來到一家肉店，偷走了一塊 烤肉。店主來到律師的辦公室，問道“如果一條沒栓的狗從我的商店裡偷了塊肉，我有權利從狗的主人那裡要回損失嗎?律師答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗沒栓而且今天從我的店裡頭了塊肉”，律師什麼都沒說，馬上給他寫了一張支票。一些天后，店主開啟郵箱，發現一封來自律師的信，信上寫 道：諮詢費250美元。
Dumas仲馬
One day a man was taunting Alexandre Dumas，the greatFrench novelist，with his ancestry. “Why，” snarled the fellow，“you are a quadroon;yourfather was a mulatto，and your grandfather was a negro.” “Yes，” roared Dumas，“and，if you wish to know'mygreatgrandfather was a monkey. In fact， my pedigree beganwhere yours terminates.”
有一天，一個人在嘲弄法國大小說家亞歷山大仲馬，譏笑他的祖先。 那傢伙厲聲說：“唔，你是四分之一黑白混血兒，你父親是黑白混血兒，而你的祖父是個黑人。” “是的'，”仲馬大聲回敬：“還有呢，如果你想知道的話， 我的曾祖父是一隻猴子。其實我的血統起始於你的血統終止的地方。”
Back Up Two Miles退後兩英里
A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry, honked his horn .
"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by. "What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.
"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.
一位農夫和他的兒子乘坐輕便馬車來到一段窄路，他們遇到一個開車的人向相反的方向去。兩個方向的兩英里以內都沒有地方可以使他們相擦而過。駕車人甚是著急，按響了喇叭。 “如果你不後退，”農夫說著擼起了袖子，“我可不喜歡我將不得不做的事。”司機吃驚不小，掛上倒擋，向後退了兩英里，讓輕便馬車先過去。
“剛才在那兒你說過的你不喜歡要做的事是什麼?”農夫的兒子問道。
“退後兩英里，”農夫回答道。
Day after Day 日復一日
A teacher was always so involved in the text being studied that he never looked up . He would call on a student for translation and explanation, and-without realizing it-he often chose the same student day after day. Out of respect, the student wouldn't point this out to him.
After being called on four days in a row, a student named Goldberg asked advice from his friends. The next day when the teacher said "Goldberg, translate and explain," Goldberg replied, "Goldberg is absent today ."
"All right," said the teacher. "YOU translate and explain.
一位老師對所講課文總是非常投入，從不抬頭。他常讓一個學生來翻譯和解釋，並且----不自覺地----他常日復一日地叫同一個學生。出於尊敬，學生並不給他指出這一點。
一個叫古德伯格的學生，在被一連叫了四天之後，向他的朋友尋求建議。第二天，這位教師又說：“古德伯格，翻譯並解釋。”古德伯格回答說：“古德伯格今天缺席。”
“那好吧，”教師說，“那就你來翻譯並解釋。”