Who do you think you are?
The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn’t let him aboard.
“It is too crowded, “they shouted.” who do you think you are?”
“I am the driver.” he said.
你以為你是誰?
公共汽車上很擠，當又一個人還是試圖上車時，乘客們不讓他上。
“車上太擠了，”他們喊道，“你以為你是誰?”
“我是司機!”他說。
Correct
Teacher: Jimmy, what are the three words which pupils use most often at school?
Jimmy: I don’t know...
Teacher: Correct.
很對
教師：吉米，學生在學校裡經常用的三個字是什麼?
吉米：不知道……
老師：很對。
Lawyers
A drunk stands up in a bar and shouts, "All Lawyers are scumbags". Another drunk stands up and yells, "Hey, I resent that remark". The first drunk yells. "Why are you a lawyer". "No", said the second drunk, "I’m a scumbag".
律師
一喝醉了的人在一聲酒吧呼喊,"所有的律師都是無賴" 。 另外的一個喝醉了的人站起來而且大叫,"嗨,我反對那一個評論". 開始的喝醉者大叫。 " 為什麼你是一位律師?". "沒有", 說那第二的喝醉了的,"我是一個無賴" 。
Englishman
Once, late at night, an Englishman came out of his room into the corridor of a hotel and asked the servant to bring him a glass of water. The servant did as he was asked. The Englishman re-entered his room, but a few minutes later he came into the corridor again and once more asked the servant for a glass of water. The servant brought him another glass of water. Every few minutes the Englishmen would come out of his room and repeat his request. After a half-hour the astonished servant decided to ask the Englishman what he was doing with the water. "Nothing," the Englishman answered imperturbably, "It’s simply that my room is on fire."
一個英國人
一天晚上，一個英國人從他住的旅店房間裡走出來。來到走廊上，叫旅店的`服務員給他拿一杯水來。服務員按他的要求做了。英國人回到了他的房間裡，幾分鐘後 他又來到走廊上，讓服務員再給他送一杯水。服務員又給他送了一杯水。每隔幾分鐘。英國人就走出房間重複他的要求。 半小時之後.這位感到驚訝的服務員決定問問房客要這些水乾什麼，英國人不謊不忙地回答：”沒什麼.只不過是我的房間裡起火了。“
lucky mother
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?
幸運的母親
一位年輕的母親認為，世界上還有許多受飢餓的人，浪費食物真不應該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑麵包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬塗在麵包上。母親看了女兒幾秒鐘，隨即說道，露茜，當我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃麵包加黃油，或者麵包加果醬，從來沒有面包既加黃油又加果醬。露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然後她柔聲說：您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎?