愛笑的人，運氣總不會太差，因為笑可以讓人充滿正能量，更能讓自己面對挫折，勇往直前，以下笑話希望能讓你爆笑每一天。
One Side of the Case A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should beexcused, and one man raised his hand. "I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.
"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.
"You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of thecase at a time."
一面之詞
一位法官問我們這群修補陪審員是否有人應當免權。一個人舉起了手。
“我的左耳聽不見。”那人告訴法官。
“你的右邊耳朵聽得見嗎?”法官問道。那人點了點頭。
“我們允許你加入陪審團，”法官宣佈。“我們每次只聽一面之辭。”
【英語笑話帶翻譯短一些2】
St Peter's question
聖彼德的問題
Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of StPeter. St Peter tells them that they have to answer one question in order to get to Heaven. Helooks at the doctor and asks, "There was a movie that was made about a ship that sank afterhitting an iceberg, what was its name?" The doctor answers, "The Titanic" and he is sentthrough. He then looks at the accountant and say, "How many people died in that ship?"Fortunately the accountant had just watched the movie and he answers, "1 500!". St Petersends him through and then finally turns to the lawyer and commands, in a very heavy voice, "Name them!".
有三個人死了，分別是一名醫生、一名會計和一名律師。他們來到了聖彼德面前。聖彼德對他們說，如果他們想進入天堂，就得每人回答一個問題。聖彼德看著醫生開始發問，“以前電影院放過一部電影，說的是一艘船撞擊冰山後沉沒，電影的名字是什麼?” 醫生回答，“<<泰坦尼克號>>”，醫生隨即被允許進入天堂。然後聖彼德看著會計說，“船上有多少人遇難?”。會計很走運，因為他剛看過這部電影，回答道，“1500人遇難。”聖彼德把會計也放進天堂了。最後，聖彼德轉過身，看著律師，非常嚴肅地用命令的口吻問道，“把1500人的名字都說出來?”
【英語笑話帶翻譯短一些3】
Reached Shore Fast
快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car brokedown. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raisesomeone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked onthe radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State yourlocation." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "Howfast were you going when you reached shore?"
在休倫湖釣完魚後，我的一個朋友開車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。他沒帶手機，不過，他想，也許他可以通過海事無線廣播來請求公路援助。於是，他爬到他的.船裡面，啟動了無線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸護衛隊警官作出了迴應，“報告你的位置”。“I-75號公路，Standish的南面兩英里”。沉默了好一會之後，警官問我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時開得有多快?”
【英語笑話帶翻譯短一些4】
One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all hissums right.
一天，蒂姆的數學老師看了他的作業，發現他全做對了。
The teacher was very pleased and rather surprised.
老師很高興，同時也十分驚訝。
He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. Whathappened? Did your father help you?"
他把蒂姆叫到桌前說："蒂姆，你這次的作業全都做對了，怎麼回事?你爸爸幫你做了嗎?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim."
"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做。"