英語笑話不僅能讓您心情愉快，並且在娛樂的過程中還可以學到更多的英語知識。下面本站小編為您整理幾段英語笑話。
再見
Two tomatoes go shopping, a tomato suddenly walk fast, the second tomato asks: "where shall we go?" The first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly, said: "we are not tomatoes? We can talk?"
兩顆番茄去逛街，第一顆番茄突然走得很快，第二顆番茄就問：“我們要去哪裡?” 第一顆番茄沒有回答，第二顆番茄又問了一次。 第一顆番茄還沒回答，所以第二顆番茄又問了一次。 第一顆番茄終於慢慢轉頭說：“我們不是番茄嗎?我們會說話嗎?”
On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.
As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Goodbye, Mickey."
Our daughter waved and said, "Goodbye, Minnie."
My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Goodbye, Money."
迪斯尼之旅 弗羅裡達州的.迪斯尼樂園是一個迷人的地方。一次我和丈夫以及兩個孩子前往旅遊，我們全身心地沉醉在它的各種奇觀之中。精疲力竭地玩了三天之後，我們要回家了。
當我們驅車離開時，兒子揮手說：“再見，美奇。”
女兒揮著手說，“再見，美妮。”
丈夫也有氣無力地揮了揮手，說道：“再見，美元。”
Goldfish 金魚
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
弗雷德：你想在哪兒養它們?
Stan: In the bathroom.
斯丹：浴室。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎麼辦?
Stan: Blindfold(矇眼睛) them!
斯丹：矇住它們的眼睛!
I am acting like a lady 我要表現得像一位女士
One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.
一天，一家百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給他的太太挑選一件女裝。但是，沒過多久，他就發現自己已被瘋狂的女人們撞得踉踉蹌蹌。
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.
他竭力地忍耐著。後來，他低下頭，揮舞雙臂，擠過人群。
"You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"
“你幹嘛?”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現得像一位紳士嗎?”
"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
“聽著，”他說。“我已經像紳士一樣表現了一個小時了。從現在起，我要表現得像一位女士。”
我丈夫剛進來
The couple seated in restaurant seemed to be having a wonderful time. But as the woman glanced away from the table，their waiter suddenly rushed over.
在飯館裡坐著一對夫婦，他們看上去非常高興。但是當那女子向旁邊瞥了一眼時，服務員馬上跑了過來。
“Madam look,”he said.“Your husband just slid under the table.”
“夫人，您瞧,” 他說,“您丈夫滑到桌子底下去了。”
“No,he didn't,”she replied.“My husband just came in the door.”
“不，他沒有,” 她回答,“我丈夫剛從門外進來。”
有兩條褲子
A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible,” she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”
丈夫下班回到家裡，發現自己的新娘心緒煩亂。“我心裡太難受了，”她說。“我在給你熨西裝時把褲子的臀部燒了個大洞。”
“Forget it ,” consoled her husband. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”
“沒事兒，”丈夫安慰她說。“你忘了我這套衣服有兩條褲子。”
“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. "And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.”
“是的，”妻子高興地說，“幸虧你還有一條，我後來就用它來補了這個洞了。”