導語“笑話中也蘊含著智慧，通過英文笑話學習英語也是一件好事，今天小編就為大家整理了6則爆笑英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!
1 “S-A-L-E.(處理品)”
About two weeks before our fifth anniversary, my husband ased me what I would like for a gift. I told him I wanted something impractical1 and romantic.
On our anniversary, he presented me with a lovely gold bracelet2. "A little four-letter word made me get this for you," he said softly.
"Oh, how sweet," I whispered. "L-O-V-E?"
"No," he replied. "S-A-L-E."
我們結婚五週年前大約兩週時，我丈夫問我喜歡什麼禮物。我告訴他我要那些沒有實用價值卻又富於浪漫色彩的。
在我們的週年紀念日那天，他向我展示了一副可愛的金手鐲。“一個小小的四字詞，讓我為你買了這個。”他溫和地說。
“哦，多甜蜜。”我耳語他。“L-O-V-E(愛)?”
“不對，”他回答。“S-A-L-E.(處理品)”
2 那不是我的孩子，那是我丈夫
"Did the children behave when you bathed them?" inquired the mistress to the new French nurse, when she returned home from the party.
"All but the biggest boy? We have only one boy, Freddy, and he's only two years old."
"Which biggest boy? We have only one boy, Freddy, and he is only two years old."
"It is not little Freddy, I mean. It is the big boy with glasses and curly hair."
"Good gracious! That's not my boy, that's my husband."
“你給孩子們洗澡的時候他們規矩不規矩?” 一位女士從宴會回家後對一名法國護士詢問道。
“除了那個最大的男孩，其他表現都很好。在我把他放到水裡之前，他又鬧又踹。”護士回答道。
“哪個最大的男孩?我們只有一個男孩，弗雷德，他只有兩歲。”
“不是小弗雷德，我是說那個戴著眼鏡卷頭髮的大男孩。”“老天，那不是我的.孩子，那是我丈夫。”
3 逍遙自在地享清福
round and round Lao wang rested under the tree, Lao li came up and said, "hey, why not go up the hill cutting wood?" Pharaoh said: "cut wood stem what?" Lao li said: "good money! Sold into money can buy a donkey, then along home door-to-door selling wood. Zheng money will buy trucks, and then buy wood factory sells wooden ware, buy more trucks, so that you can be really rich." The old king: "fortune"? Lao li answer: "fortune can be to free and unfettered freely do well." Pharaoh said, "that you think I doing now?"
周而復始 老王在樹下休息，老李走過來對他說：“嗨，為什麼不去上山砍柴?” 老王說：“砍柴幹什麼?” 老李說：“好賣錢啊。賣到錢就可以買驢，再沿家挨戶賣柴。掙了錢就再 買卡車，然後買木廠賣木 器，再買更多的卡車，那樣就可以發大財了。” 老王問：“發了財幹什麼?” 老李答：“發了財就可以逍遙自在地享清福嘛。” 老王說：“那你以為我現在在幹什麼?”
4 火雞就是不肯老實地坐著
This pampered young lady had left her family for the first time to join the college and was feeling quite lonely on Thanksgiving. She decided to cook a Thanksgiving dinner for herself. She was narrating her first experience in the kitchen to her mother and mother really wanted to know about the results. When asked how the food was, the lady replied with a shudder that though the ready-made soup and pizza were great, she had quite a trouble with turkey. Trying to get to the root of the problem, the mother asked, "Was it burnt?" The lady replied, "Oh! I couldn't taste it mom. It simply wouldn't sit still!"
一位養尊處優的年輕小姐頭一回離家去上大學，到了感恩節她倍感孤單。她決定為自己做一頓感恩節大餐。她正在向自己的母親描述自己第一次做飯的經歷，而母親也很想知道結果如何。當被問及做得好不好吃，這位小姐打了一個顫說，儘管速食湯和批薩不錯，但是烹飪火雞時卻遇到了不小的麻煩。她的母親想找到問題的根源，於是就問她：“是不是烤焦了?”這位小姐回答道：“哦，我沒法品嚐它，媽媽。火雞就是不肯老實地坐著!”
5 總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車.接近門口,一位肥胖的中年婦女從後面衝過來,沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳,仰面滑倒了.她的慣性使她接近了我的腳.我正準備扶她,她卻自己爬了起來.她鎮定了一下,對我擠了一下眉,說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?”
6 自從我牙齒掉光後
A guy goes to visit his grandma and he brings his friend with him. While he's talking to his grandma, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off. As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandma, "Thanks for the peanuts." She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off."
一名男子帶著朋友去探望他的祖母。
當他和祖母聊天時，他的朋友開始吃咖啡桌上放的花生，並把花生都給吃光了。他們離開時，他的朋友對祖母說:"謝謝您的花生。" 結果祖母說:"唉!自從我牙齒掉光後，我就只能吮掉花生豆外層的巧克力了。"