你想在娛樂的過程中還可以學到更多的英語知識嗎?下面本站小編為您整理的幾段英語笑話。鳥窩與頭髮
我姐姐是一位國小老師.一次一個學生告訴她說一隻鳥兒在教室外 的樹上壘了個窩.
“是什麼鳥呢?”我姐姐問她.
“我沒看到鳥兒,老師,只看到鳥窩.”那孩子回答說.
“那麼,你能給我們描述一下這個鳥巢嗎?”我姐姐鼓勵她道.
“哦,老師,就像你的頭髮一樣.”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因為我剛咬了自己的舌頭. 句中 Cause 是 Because 的縮略形式.
我剛咬破自己的舌頭
“我們有毒嗎?”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親.
“是的,親愛的,”她回答說,“你問這個幹什麼?”
“因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭.”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車.接近門口,一位肥胖的中年婦女從後面衝過來,沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳,仰面滑倒了.她的慣性使她接近了我的腳.我正準備扶她,她卻自己爬了起來.她鎮定了一下,對我擠了一下眉,說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?”
英語笑話(一)
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子會和跳蚤有什麼不同呢?你可能會直接的想到它們倆是一大一小.但除此之外呢,那就是猴子身上可以長跳蚤,而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子.這個答案很有意思吧?
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了農夫的玉米或是穀物,他肯定會生氣的;而如果你踩了農夫腳底的雞眼,他會更生氣既可以表示“玉米/穀物”,也有“雞眼”的意思.
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因為snail(蝸牛)的後背上總是揹著一所房子,所以說蝸牛是世界上最強壯的生物是不足為奇的.你說呢?
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces這個短語,你可千萬別以為是在鐘錶廠工作的人整天都做鬼臉呀!因為除了這個意思以外,它還可以從字面上解釋為製造鐘面.
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎樣才能不讓夢遊者(sleepwalker)夢遊(walk in his sleep)呢?最簡單的方法就是不讓他睡覺.雖然這不是治療方法,但如果讓夢遊者醒著呢,他的確就不會去夢遊了.
英語笑話(二)
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一個大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人.
-- 他真是一個大人物.幹什麼的?
-- 墓地守墓人.
英語笑話(三)
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它們是從美國直接帶來的
一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久,到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元.在銀行櫃檯,銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票,看是否有假.
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩,最後實在忍耐不住說：“相信我,先生,也請你相信這些鈔票.這都是真正的美元,它們是從美國直接帶來的.”
英語笑話(四)my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不識字
布朗夫人：哦,
親愛的,我把珍愛的小狗給丟了!
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊!
布朗夫人：沒有用的.,我的小狗不認識字.”
英語笑話(五)Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.