笑一笑十年少，有時候正兒八經的說笑話卻覺得不好笑，可是一個很冷的笑話卻能讓自己笑良久，你有這樣的經歷麼?現在，一起來開心爆笑下吧!
A shop owner closed his shop and went home. He was very tired but just as he went to bed, the telephone rang. A man asked, "What time do you open your shop?"
The owner was angry about this phone call. He put down the telephone without answering and went back to bed. A few minutes later, his telephone rang again and the man asked the same questions. The owner became very angry and he shouted, "You needn't ask me when I open the shop for I won't let you in."
"Oh, no, I don't want to get in," the man said, "I want to go out now . "
一個店老闆關閉了店鋪，回家去了。他非常疲憊，但就在他剛躺下時電話鈴響了。一個人問：“你什麼時候開啟你的店?”
店主很不高興這個電話。沒有回答，他放下聽筒，回去睡覺。幾分鐘後，電話又響了，該名男子問同樣的問題。店老闆非常生氣，他喊道：“你不用問我什麼時候開啟店鋪，因為我不會讓你……”
“哦，不。我不想進去，”那人說：“我想出去。”
簡單英語笑話短文帶翻譯(二)
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on the 30th floor of a building.
The Irishman opened his lunch box and said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch b box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too, the blonde opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping, she says, "if I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!" the Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," She said. "He made his own lunch."
一個愛爾蘭人，一個墨西哥人和一個金髮男子在一棟樓房的第三十層施工。
愛爾蘭人開啟飯盒說：“鹹牛肉和捲心菜!下次午飯還吃鹹牛肉和捲心菜，我就從這樓上跳下去。”
墨西哥人開啟飯盒說：“又是玉米煎餅。下次如果還是玉米煎餅，我也跳下去。”
金髮人開啟飯盒說：“又是大臘腸。下次如果還是大臘腸三明治，我也跳下去。”
第二天，愛爾蘭人開啟盒飯看到鹹牛肉和捲心菜便跳樓死了。墨西哥人開啟飯盒看到玉米煎餅也跳了樓，金髮人開啟飯盒看到大臘腸也跳樓自殺了。
葬禮上，愛爾蘭人的'妻子在哭泣，她說：“如果我知道他如此討厭鹹牛肉和捲心菜，我決不會再給他吃!”墨西哥人的妻子也在哭泣著說：“我會給他做玉米麵豆卷和春捲!我沒有發現他是這麼不喜歡吃玉米煎餅。”每個人都把目光轉向金髮男子的妻子並盯著她看。“嘿，別看我，午飯是他自個做的。”她說。
簡單英語笑話短文帶翻譯(三)
Maxine, the platinum blonde, reported for her final examination which consisted of Yes/No answers. She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper, and then in a bit of inspiration, took a quarter out of her purse. She started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet" Yes" for heads and "No" for tails. Within 30 minutes she was all done whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out. During the last few minutes of the exam period，Maxine frantically started flipping the coin again.
麥西尼有一頭銀白色秀髮，正在參加期末考試，試卷上的題目只有“對”和“不對”兩種答案。她在考場裡坐了下來開始答卷，這時她靈機一動，從錢包裡拿出了一枚兩角五分的硬幣，往上拋硬幣，出現正面就填“對”，反面就填“不對”。只用了30分鐘的時間，她就做完了，而此時別的同學還在冥思苦想。但離考試完畢還有最後幾分鐘時，麥西尼又開始瘋狂地拋硬幣。
The moderator, concerned about what she was doing, stopped by her desk and asked if she was ok.
監考官對她的所作所為很好奇，便走到她的桌旁，問她是否有問題。
"Oh yes, I' m fine. I finished the exam a half hour ago一but,”explaining the frantic coin tossing, "I' m going back through and checking my answers!”
“我還好，半小時前我就答完了，現在我想從後往前的再檢查一遍。”她這樣解釋拋硬幣的原因。