爆笑笑話是指以一句短語或一個小故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得爆笑如雷。小編整理的英語的爆笑小笑話，喜歡的趕緊來看下吧!
考試不及格
Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
媽媽:這次測試你為什麼得這麼低的分?
Kid: Because of absence.
孩子:因為缺考。
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
媽媽：你的意思是考試那天你沒去?
Kid: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
孩子:不是，是坐在我旁邊的`孩子沒來。
半價票
1.A Half-price Ticket
半價票
"How much is the movie ticket?"
“電影票多少錢一張?”
"Ten dollars, kid."
“10美元，孩子。”
"I only have five dollars. Please let me in. I'll see it only with one eye."
“我只有5美元。請讓我進去吧，我只用一中眼睛看。”
Big Head
“All the kids make fun of me.” the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”
“Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head . Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”
“Where's the shopping bag?”
“I haven't got one,use your hat.
大腦袋
“所有的孩子都拿我開玩笑，”小男孩哭著跟媽媽說：“他們說我長了一個大腦袋。”
“別聽他們的，”他媽媽安慰說：“你的腦袋長得很漂亮。好了，別哭了，去商店買10磅土豆來。”
“購物袋在哪?”
“我沒有購物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mather for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢幹什麼了?”
“我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢?”
“她是個賣糖果的。”
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父親在哪兒?
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪了了呢?”
哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”