Goldfish金魚
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold(矇眼睛) them!
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斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。
弗雷德：你想在哪兒養它們?
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎麼辦?
斯丹：矇住它們的眼睛!
Where Am I 我在哪兒
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmer looked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."
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一個英國人在鄉下開車時迷了路，他看見一個農民正在附近的地裡幹活。於是他就把車開過去問那位農民：“勞駕，您能告訴我我現在這是在哪兒嗎?” “可以。”農夫奇怪地看了看他，然後說道：“你現在在你的`車子裡，先生。”
Why do you never phone me?你為什麼不給我打電話?
Mrs Harris lives in a small village. Her husband is dead, but she has one son. He is twenty-one and his name is Geoff. He worked in the shop in the village and lived with his mother, but then he got work in a town and went ant lived there. Its name was Greensea. It was quite a long way from his mother's village, and she was not happy about this, but Geoff said, "There isn't any good work for me in the country, Mother, and I can get a lot of money in Greensea and send you some every week." Mrs Harris was very angry last Sunday. She got in a train and went to her son's house in Greensea. Then she said to him, "Geoff, why do you never phone me?" Geoff laughed. "But, Mother", he said, "you haven't got a phone." "No," she answered, "I haven't, but YOU'VE got one!"
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我會告訴你這篇沒有中文翻譯嗎。。。
Who Is the Laziest 誰最懶
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
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父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過，現在我想問你個問題。你們班上誰最懶?湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。父親：啊，不對，你知道!想想看，當別的孩子們都在做作業、寫字時，誰在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課?湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。